Eavesdropping

I'm sitting in a coffee shop in St. Louis right now -- waiting for my 9:30 a.m. appointment to arrive.

In a booth 12 feet away are two guys talking (loudly, so no apologizes for overhearing them) about networking. Just heard one guy say the following:

"When I'm in an elevator, I know I have 30 seconds to make a great impression, so I have to hit 'em hard with benefits. But when I'm at a mixer, I want to say something that gets them to ask me lots of questions so I can tell them all the important stuff about what I do."

Five people (including the guy I quoted) actually turned their heads and looked at me as I inadvertently let out a belly laugh. (Luckily I wasn't looking straight at him at the time.)

I'm sure many of you know this, but I believe in reinforcement almost to the point of absurdity, so here goes anyway ...

"IT" is NEVER about YOU!

The people you meet while networking don't give a rats ass about your benefits.

They don't want to hear your story.

They won't remember your details.

And their eyes will role, their skin will crawl, their stomachs will cringe and their desire to know you will instantly evaporate if you take the "it's all about me" approach.

Sage of Selling Rule: People will not care about you until you first care about them.

The exceptions are the people who understand and practice this stuff. Fortunately, most people at most networking functions are not power networkers, so they've never studied the practice or perfected it. So this affords you the chance to be the networking hero -- the most interesting person at the meeting, because you want to learn about them.

Ask, listen, learn, care, help. Then let the relationship take care of itself.

Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association

Comments

[Dixie Gillaspie]

Can you imagine being trapped in an elevator with this guy? So much for the "elevator speech". I've gotten far more business (and had a lot more fun) by introducing two people whose "benefit statements" I have listened to and found a match for than I ever had by telling people what I do. I figure what I do is less important than who I am and what I'm about - and that needs to speak for itself.